We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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