You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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