it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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