The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
