He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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