I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
