he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
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So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
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I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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