You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
