It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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