just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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