so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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