If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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