I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
