Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
