I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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