I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
