porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
