Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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