I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
