Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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