Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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