not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
