as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
