Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
