I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize