No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
