I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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