Kiss
Puke
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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