their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
