Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
