Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
