My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
In America we eat man semen.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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