put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize