Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
