Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
