and i looked up. we had an audience...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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