Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
