Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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