Ambien. No doubt about it.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
