I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
