He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
