RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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