dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
