So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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