Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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