Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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