I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
