So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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