I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
