what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
