Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
MIDGETS
????
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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