I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
