dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I smell stomach acid.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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