your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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