Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
