pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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