Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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