So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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