I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
