I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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