please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize