I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
